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| There is a party out there,i hear clouded bundles of happiness but guess what am cuddling with me myself and I because lets say that JOMO kicked in. |
When someone says FOMO I
will forever think 2019.Like many other people
FOMO has
been a constant companion of mine, it has never been as powerful as it has been
this year.
Well if you don't know
what FOMO means; don’t worry it’s basically the
"Fear of Missing Out,"
it is an emotion that is driven by thoughts that can create fear and
anxiety ; something that this generation specifically relates to right? trust
me, it has permeated most corners of our popular culture and you too can
almost relate. Everyone get to be anxious about something and nothing at the
same time.
Ain't
it funny what FOMO tries to do to us.
Its
like that spiraling anxiety that showcases an exciting or interesting event may
currently be happening elsewhere but where we are at. It spikes your mind to be
every where but where you are. It tends to be a mirage; so close yet so far. You
question so many things about you just to find a single strand of thread to fit
into where it seemingly feels more cool.
In
our information society these feelings are often aroused by posts
seen on social media. Truth be told I love pictures and no one has the audacity
to judge my life with just a simple snap of a second right before I took it.
Yes am smiley ,yes am happy and that all you need to know cause I let you see
it. Right? That’s the protocoal, no one ever snapped at their own funeral
right?
2019 is the year I realized I was a lifelong sufferer of FOMO
and if your life is characterized by the following, you and me, us both are
quite a like and you need to join me on my recovery road;
- You Can't Get
Your Eyes Off Your Phone.
- You Take Photos
Of Everything and share them or attempt to
- You Never Say No(
regrettably all the time and it costs you)
- You Check Your
Work Emails 24/7 - Even While On Holiday
- You're Sick, But
You're Not About To Let That Ruin Your Plans Of Going Out
- You Spend Copious
Amounts Of Money On Things You Can't Afford.
That my dear is a long
list of so many ways one can tell they have FOMO. Now am not saying its a
disease or disorder, am not sure(clears throat) but i do know how irritable it
is, no wonder it’s a sad generation, how hard is it to believe that
happiness is not contained in a container for us to conclude that it’s out
there and not right here and now where we at.
Many studies show
that FOMO leads to
extreme dissatisfaction in one’s self and has a detrimental effect on our physical and mental health. Feelings
of mood swings, loneliness, feelings of inferiority, reduced self-esteem,
extreme social anxiety, and increased levels of negativity and depression, the
list could go on and on.
To make it worse, so
many of us experience it every day without even realizing it. I made 25 in June
and the thought of getting to my Forties without really living just because of
FOMO creeps me out. I want to have fun my way, I want to make reasonable
mistakes my way, I don’t want to wake up in the mornings questioning my worth
scaling it to how “they” measure it up. I want to believe that its happening
here and now right where I am and it’s that simple, whatever it is.
Are we all scaling up
to this pop culture? Yes because ; everyone and everything is looking to take
advantage of our ignorance’s.
Uhmmm lets hear this, I
read an article that said Apple
CEO Tim Cook is not a fan of social media and in that same interview he says
that he can’t stand his nephew being on social media. But while we’re busy
burying our noses in our news feeds on social media a strange thing is going on
in Silicon Valley which is the home of face book, these tech guys know something.
Do you ever wonder about the tricks they used to keep us coming back for more,
and more… and more? Not so many of us do. we are simply addicted. We keeping
up.
I think
technology has ruined us Or me These gurus have created tools that
are ripping apart the social fabric of how society works. Don’t you miss
the good old days of being present?
Here's why we keep
going back ; For starters let’s consider the ‘pull-to-refresh’ feature on
most social media apps. I read that dragging the screen downwards prompts
the screen to refresh and it takes advantage of our attraction
to unpredictability. Psychologists call this ‘intermittent reinforcements’
hahaha Anyway sometimes, when we check social media there’s something exciting
waiting for us and sometimes there’s not. It’s the unpredictability that keeps
us coming back,then there's the dopamine
effect, Dopamine is our brain’s way of recording what’s worth doing again.
Our phones also take
advantage of our inherent social impulses that triger our fear of missing out
(FOMO) just the impression that we need to reciprocate when we feel someone has
done something for us.
For example, those
blue ticks on WhatsApp that indicate when someone has read the message so
there’s now a social pressure for them to respond. When logged out of Facebook
you even get emails telling you that you have unread messages and
notifications, piling on the pressure to just log in, lest you miss out on some
news or leave someone hanging.
Arghhhhhhh and then
there are those little dots that indicate when someone is in the process of
replying to your message. What’s the likelihood you’re going to put down your
phone before you’ve seen their response? haha my guess is that youll be glued
to the phone until the response comes through and yah thats how people spend an
entire day on social media.
It’s not easy to think
about it like this but i hope that you do. Other forms of FOMO are seen in
Gebner et al's cultivation theory where Television viewing has long term
effects, that lead to FOMO due to the programing but that's a story for
another day.
I guess all am trying to
say is that FOMO will kill us, but only if we let it. so lets not. here is
how...
1.
Don't Let Social Media
Fool You. Facebook and Instagram are eager to show you what you're missing when
you opt out of events.
2.
Try on the “Beautiful
No” if you are a people-pleaser
3.
Be Intentional with
Your Friendships. ...
4.
Change Your
Perspective.(Yes we can)
5.
Be Fully Present. With
yourself, family, friends and that special some one, lets be present and live
life, love it even more because guess what? we dont have forever.
Enough about FOMO lets
try and switch to embracing JOMO, or the joy of missing out
so yes, i do have the
joy of missing out deep down in my soul.
See you at my next blog post.
